Creating boundaries in society doesn’t mean we need to place ourselves (always) in a special hidden place and not reaching others in daily life. If so, then what’s the point of life? It should be shared with others, making a living in this world, not only for ourselves but also for others.
I just watch a Japanese drama titled Kikazaru Koi niha Riyuu ga Atte. In that drama, there is a minimalist guy who lives by making strict boundaries to society in his life. He makes those boundaries because of his hurt back then. He is unconscious that it’s been a long time he puts himself in his hidden place, in his comfort constant society, and daily routine. Thus he works in his constant best effort, he never pushes himself toward his limit anymore. In his opinion, it helps him to not feel hurt.
He is unconscious until he meets and watches an office worker who puts herself to her limit every day. In the beginning, this minimalist guy assumes that it is useless for her to reach her limit to others, yet finally, this guy finds this woman feels more alive than himself. Through it, he finally realized those social boundaries have made him places himself far from society, from the moment. By always ignoring being hurt by society, he doesn’t upgrade his ability to love others. It affects his works — because love also means loving his work, he doesn’t push himself to his limit and make a new record of limit every day. He just does so-so.
This is relatable to the current society, current generation. In this era, we learn to make boundaries in our society, especially this pandemic makes our (digital) society gives us limitless information. Our (new normal) work from home culture gives us a limitless notification to work after hours. We’re all exhausted. Unconsciously, we make a boundary in every society we join in. People also talk about “making boundary” a lot on social media, yet we also need to know the measurement of this boundary. When we’re only focused on establishing those boundaries, we’re unconscious we have placed ourselves farther and farther from the moment, the place we feel alive. Yes, introverts exist in this world, and introverts recharge their energy by having time alone. But what introverts need to charge if they don’t lose some of their energy by being present in society?
In other words, we need to quantify every social boundary we make, so we will not drown in our boundaries and burn out because we can’t feel alive. Because by keeping in touch with society, we exchange the energy by doing things to others, and others do something to us, and when we feel exhausted, we recharge a new kind of energy.
